Too Much
by evieeden
Summary: Leah has tried to be understanding about Sam and Emily, but even she has her limits. Advent story written for 13th December.


**Happy 13****th**** December everyone. Huge thanks once again go out to idealskeptic for betaing this story for me. I don't own Twilight, but I hope that doesn't spoil your enjoyment of this offering. Thank you all, for continuing to read; I really appreciate your support.**

**Too Much**

This was a complete and utter travesty.

I stood on a box in my living room, surrounded by people I couldn't stand, wearing what I could only describe as a monstrosity.

I had finally bowed to my mom's entreaties to let the past go and reluctantly agreed to stand as Emily's maid of honour, like I had agreed before I phased into a wolf and found out the truth behind my abandonment.

I certainly hadn't agreed to this kind of humiliation.

Claire, who was dancing around the room in her underwear and a tiara, stopped and looked up at me.

"You look like a princess, Lee-Lee, except princesses have a crown like mine and long curly hair."

She touched the top of her head to make sure that said crown and hair were still where they were supposed to be and then twirled off happily.

I gritted my teeth.

My hair was one of those sensitive issues. I used to have beautiful hair, long and wavy and thick. Sam had loved running his hands through it. And then I had phased and my hair became just one more thing I sacrificed to the wolf. I had cried as my mom had stood behind me in the bathroom and chopped it off, lock by lock.

She had kept the shorn hair in a plastic bag in the back of her wardrobe afterwards. I had avoided looking at myself in the mirror ever since.

"Just a couple more pins to put in place for the hem, Leah," my mom told me, obviously sensing my agitation.

I tried not to shuffle from side to side and risk getting stabbed by one of the pins she was holding.

I still couldn't believe I was doing this. I couldn't actually believe that Emily had asked me to stand up with her.

Sure, I had agreed willingly to do it before, but that was back when we were fifteen and as close as sisters. A time before she had stolen my fiancé out from beneath my feet.

My hands clenched.

Imprinting.

I hated it with a burning passion. It was practically the only thing I was passionate about now – making sure it never happened to me.

I saw my brothers, saw the dazed and dumb looks on their faces every time their imprints walked into the room, and I prayed that I would never lose my mind, lose my free will in that way.

Because it was losing free will.

Sam, Jared, Paul, Quil and Jacob all thought the sun shone out their imprints' butts, but I've been inside their heads, I know about the glitches in imprinting.

Jacob's situation was perhaps the sickest. He'd be daydreaming about spending time with Renesmee, only for her image to flicker in his mind and be replaced with his old dreams of a life with Bella. At least when it came to me and Emily, we're only cousins. I cann't imagine the trauma everyone would've suffered if Sam had somehow imprinted on my mother.

Urgh. I shuddered at the thought.

Despite not being involved with anyone beforehand, even Jared and Paul still rail occasionally against their imprints in their heads, longing for the days when they could approach and get any girl they wanted without someone waiting for them at home.

And Sam...

He still loved me.

I clung to that and yet it was what made it all so much harder to deal with.

In some ways, I wished that imprinting had completely stripped away all his feelings for me, so that when I did venture inside his thoughts it was only Emily I saw. But of course life was never that kind to me.

He still loved me. At times it was like the haze of imprinting lifted completely from his mind and all the feelings for me that had been suppressed were there – bright and vibrant and breathtaking.

But those moments were also the cruellest thing I had ever experienced, because they gave me false hope, even though I knew they would never last. All of a sudden the shutters would fall over Sam's eyes again and once more Emily was the only thing he could see. I was merely the girl he felt guilt towards for breaking his promises.

At least I knew he felt guilty though.

Emily, on the other hand, had never even bothered apologising to me or trying to make things right between us again. She just swanned around the house that Sam had built for me and him, baking muffins and droning on about the inevitability of their relationship given the involvement of the fates.

I fought back a shudder of anger just thinking about it.

In Emily's mind, because the wolf gods had chosen her as Sam's imprint, then that was that. My relationship with Sam was brushed under the carpet and blithely ignored, all because he had loved me through choice and not through compulsion.

She didn't see anything wrong with what she had done. A part of me always wondered if she had been like this before the imprint, wanting Sam for herself even before the imprint had taken place, regardless of the fact that he was with me.

My thoughts were making me angry so I took a couple of deep breaths, not wanting to lose control of my emotions and phase in front of my mother. No matter what I felt about the other imprints, each of whom were sporting a less elaborate version of my hideously pink dress, they didn't deserve to get hurt. I especially wouldn't do anything while my mother was in the room. She had already been hurt enough by my father's secrets and then death, and mine and Seth's phasing. I would never do anything to add to her distress.

I took another deep breath.

A cool hand wrapped around my ankle and I looked down. My mom's hand was wrapped around my leg, steadying me.

"Are you alright, honey?" she asked, a concerned look on her face.

I forced a smile onto mine. "I'm fine. Just a bit overwhelmed by so much pink."

It was a lame joke, but it appeared to soothe her somewhat and she went on with pinning the dress to fit my body, standing up to assess the fit around my waist.

Footsteps on the stairs caught everyone's attention and the bustle of a full white skirt came into view around the corner. Emily stepped into the living room.

"Well, what do you think?" She gestured towards her wedding dress, a shy smile on her face.

There were gasps of wonder from the other girls, who immediately rushed forward to crowd around my cousin.

"Oh, Emily."

"You look so beautiful."

"Your dress looks amazing. I can't believe you made it all by yourself."

She beamed and accepted all their praise with a bashful nod of her head.

I didn't crowd around her. I didn't even talk. I wasn't sure that I could, not without screaming, anyway.

My mom's hands had clenched around my waist and I knew that she had spotted the same thing that I had.

Although Sam and I had only become officially engaged when I had turned 18, we had been in a relationship for over five years and on my 16th birthday, he had presented me with a promise ring, which we had both seen as being as good as an engagement.

Before I turned into a wolf, I had also been ridiculously girly and in my excitement at this sign of his commitment to be, I had begun imagining my perfect wedding. Many times, Emily had been my willing accomplice in all of this planning.

One of my proudest achievements in all this planning had been the dress I wanted to wear. I was good at drawing and competent at sewing so had no problem with planning to design and make my own dress. I had dabbled with different styles and fabrics until I had finally developed my perfect wedding dress. Full-skirted with a laced bodice and delicate cap sleeves, it had been a labour of love and I couldn't wait to get to making it and seeing the look on Sam's face as I walked down the aisle towards him.

I had already begun work on the skirt of the dress at the time of Sam's disappearance when he first phased and the half-made dress had remained tucked away in a box in the corner of my room, never to be finished.

Today, I was finally seeing that dress as I had designed and planned it. Only I wasn't the one wearing it, accepting compliments and spinning around happily.

"Leah, Sue?" Emily looked toward me and my mom expectantly. "What do you think?"

What did I think? What did I think?

Rage boiled inside me and I instinctively growled. Mom's arms came up to slide up and down my arms soothingly and the other girls backed away warily. Rachel reached out and grabbed Claire, swinging the younger girl onto her hip and farther away from me.

Emily's smile finally fell. "Leah?"

"You fucking bitch!"

Despite my anger, I spoke in a cold and collected tone.

"It's never enough for you, is it?"

Shrugging my mom's hands off my arms, I stepped down off the box, grateful for once for the wolf genes that had given me the additional height to tower over my bitch of a cousin.

"It's just not enough that you have Sam now, is it? You make all these excuses about imprinting and fate, but don't play that fucking game with me. I know full well that you could have stayed just friends with him; he didn't have to be your lover or your boyfriend or your fiancé. So don't stand in front of me and say that you _never_ meant to hurt me, because right now, what you're wearing, that's proof enough right there that you just can't bear to let me live in peace. You _can't_ stand it when I have something that you don't."

I jabbed her hard in the chest with one finger, making her stumble backwards.

"That's not true," she whispered.

"_Isn't it?_" My voice lilted up then. I knew I was working up to the point of hysteria but I couldn't stop myself.

She shook her head. It was like waving a red rag in front of a bull

"You're wearing my dress!" I screamed. "_My dress!_ The one I was going to marry Sam in. Did you think I would be so blind that I wouldn't notice?! Tell me, if I go up to my room right now, will the designs I drew still be in the box where I left them?!"

Her whole body was shaking now and the scent of fear leeched from her skin.

"_You did_, didn't you?! _You stole them!_ That was _my_ wedding dress! _Mine!_ It's not enough that you steal my fiancé, my friends, my future home, but now you have to steal my wedding dress too?!"

I shoved her again, this time with both hands. Emily's legs crashed into the back of the sofa.

In the background, I could vaguely hear my mom telling me to keep control of myself, but I was too far gone, too blinded by my rage.

"Anything I have, you have to take! You can't get a life of your own so you've settled for stealing mine!"

Emily was wide-eyed.

Tears were streaming down my face. I could feel them, but I didn't want to stop to wipe them away.

For once, instead of hiding, I would let them see, let them all see what this cunt in front of me had done, how badly she had fucked me over. For once, I wanted them to know that she wasn't just sweet, helpful Emily, but a woman who was systematically taking everything I had and leaving me with nothing.

I flew forward, my hands clawing out and ripping the fabric of the dress, _my dress_, shredding it to pieces. I tore at the lacy material, ignoring the gasps of horror and shocked murmurs from the other women, until all Emily was clothed in was a ton of shredded white fabric. It didn't even look like a dress anymore.

I stood back and surveyed my work with satisfaction, and then clasped Emily around the back of her neck and drew her towards me so I could whisper in her ear.

"Now it's ruined, just like you are. And if I see you in anything resembling it again for your wedding, a ripped up dress will be the least of your problems. Don't go crying to Sam about it either, otherwise I'll let all of the rest of the pack know just what a conniving little bitch you are."

"Leah." She tried to pull back but I tightened my grip, squeezing tightly.

"This will be the last thing in my life you ever take from me. Do you understand?" The warning was clear.

"Leah." This time it was my mom who spoke, holding onto my shoulders and pulling me gently backwards. She was probably worried that if she tugged me away too sharply, I might snap Emily's neck.

I allowed her to manoeuvre me away. I turned to her.

"I can't do it, Mom. I wanted to for you, but I can't," I pleaded with her, desperation colouring my voice.

"Okay, baby." She didn't bother fighting with me. "I won't ask you to." She rubbed my arms. "Go and run off some steam and I'll see you later."

At that moment I was so grateful to know that no matter what happened, my mom was there for me. I kissed her on the cheek in thanks.

As I walked towards the back door, Emily suddenly regained her composure and began shrieking.

"What does she mean, she's not going to do it anymore?! This is my wedding, it's only a week away and she's ruining it! Look at my dress, for God's sake! What am I supposed to do now?"

I spun around back to face her, my eyes still blurred from the tears which had fallen.

To my surprise, my mom now had clenched fists and looked like she would dearly like to start swinging them at my cousin.

"Emily-" she began.

"Mom," I interrupted her.

I directed my attention towards Emily.

"You'll do what you always do, Emily. You'll think of yourself, like always." The petty part of me had me adding the next bit. "But don't think that Sam's only thinking of you too. I've seen inside his head while we're phased and I'm in there as well. I'll _always_ be there. So you go ahead and get married to him, but just remember that no matter how much you take from me, you'll never have everything, because you'll never have all of him."

I shook my head mockingly.

"He would never have chosen you willingly, Emily. Even with the imprint, a part of him always belongs to me, will _always_ love me. You think about that when you're buying your new dress."

Unable to keep my composure any longer, I sprinted out the door and phased on the fly.

I got a lot of satisfaction as the pink bridesmaid's dress tore into pieces around me.


End file.
